My Boyfriend Got Banned from His Favorite Restaurant on His Birthday and He Says It’s My Fault

A young woman turned to the internet for help when her boyfriend blamed her for his ban from his favorite restaurant during his birthday dinner.

The lingering question remains: what happened that made him point a finger at her?


On June 17, 2023, an anonymous female contributor turned to the widely read “AITA” subreddit to pen her frustrations. The woman, aged 18, had been dating her boyfriend, John, 20, for just under a year. Despite their relationship being primarily free of toxicity, a significant source of tension existed due to her vegetarian lifestyle.

She had been committed to vegetarianism since the age of 11, driven by strong moral beliefs. But there was one particular issue that irked John: her refusal to spend her money on meat.

Upon earning her own income, she had vowed not to use a single cent of it on meat products. Their dining experiences together highlighted this conflict. Usually, they split the bill, or sometimes John covered the entire cost. She had explicitly stated that she would happily pay for both if he chose a meat-free option. Strangely, he seldom did.

The times he did pay for her meals were limited to occasions when she spent her money on joint activities, such as concerts and festivals. In these situations, she could shell out €120+ ($125) on tickets while he contributed around €50 ($50) for food.

What Happened at the Birthday Dinner?

A few days before posting her Reddit account, the young lady and her boyfriend visited his favorite upscale restaurant to celebrate his birthday. He indulged in the priciest steak on the menu, paired with a side salad and a bottle of wine.

When the meal concluded, the woman approached the waiter and requested separate bills, prompting a shocked reaction from John. He seemed skeptical and asked if she was joking. Firmly, she affirmed that she wasn’t.

This led to a perplexed response from John; he assumed she would foot the bill because it was his birthday, claiming he hadn’t budgeted for the meal. Perplexed, she questioned his assumption, reminding him of her longstanding rule about not spending her money on meat. Yet, he failed to provide any rationale for his expectation apart from the fact that it was his birthday.

The young woman attempted to find a middle ground, offering to cover the cost of the wine and the side salad while expecting her boyfriend to pay for the expensive steak. However, her proposition only fueled his anger, prompting him to storm off to the bathroom in a fit of fury.

In an attempt to salvage the situation, she paid for her meal, the wine, and the salad, patiently waiting for his return. Yet, as the minutes ticked away, he failed to reappear. After waiting for 20 minutes without any sign of him, she decided to leave, puzzled by his unexpected reaction and disappearance.

Soon afterward, the original poster discovered her boyfriend sitting on a nearby bench close to where they had parked the car. Confused, she inquired about his abrupt departure and reiterated that he still needed to pay for his portion.

His shock was palpable; he seemed completely unaware of the payment she had made. When she clarified that she had covered everything except the meat, his reaction turned explosive. He unleashed a barrage of accusations, labeling her as selfish and urging her to grow up.

Despite her partner’s escalating anger, OP remained composed and insisted that he needed to return to the restaurant and settle the bill. However, he scoffed at her suggestion and defiantly walked away. Faced with his refusal to take responsibility, she made the difficult decision to drive home without him, left to grapple with the aftermath of his unexpected outburst.

OP’s boyfriend blamed her for his inability to return to his favorite restaurant, citing the dine-and-dash incident as the reason. The restaurant’s small size meant he would undoubtedly be recognized and swiftly kicked out. His accusations compelled her to seek assistance from the online community, leaving her to question the righteousness of her actions.

To those who questioned her decision not to treat her boyfriend on his birthday, the woman clarified that she had gone the extra mile, dipping into her savings to buy him a present. Yet, it still wasn’t enough for him. OP also emphasized that she hadn’t initiated the dinner outing; instead, it was her boyfriend’s suggestion to go out in the first place.

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